I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
