and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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