i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
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