Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
