So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
