I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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