marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
