If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
