One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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