there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
