Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
