HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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