So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
