He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i just sent this text using only my big toe
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
