Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
