tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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