I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
