her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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