Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
