ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Let's get the cat blown out
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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