But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
