I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
