I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
