weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
