so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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