just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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