he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
