Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Congratulations! We have a period
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
