before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
