Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I have peed in a lot of sinks
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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