if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
