I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
