Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
