I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
