so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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