apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
