just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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