I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
