I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
