A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Randomize
