we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
