Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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