i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
