Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
