just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
