remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
