and you said cock pushups were impossible
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
