I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Randomize
