yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
