I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
