My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Randomize
