Kareoke will never be a sober sport
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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