Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
